I can’t sit here and say long distance is the best type of relationship. I can’t sit here and say there’s not days where I just want to give up. Every single day I just wonder if I’ll be able to talk to him and be able to talk about how my day was or ask how was his classes were. We met freshman year in highschool, we’ve been dating since senior year. Every single day we’d talk on FaceTime and we’d see each other the next day. Now it’s gone to me falling asleep on FaceTime because I’m so tired from work, to waking up wondering if I’d be able to text him that morning.
I’ve never felt such a pain in my heart, I’ve never felt so depressed in such a long time. There’s always thoughts in the back of my head saying that he never wants to be with me or that he’s going to somehow end up with someone else.
When we met I knew Jeremy was in JROTC but I never really knew his full story. Senior year when we started dating he told me he wanted to join the military and I thought nothing of it, until the day came when told me he was leaving September 11th. It’s now November 30th, and he comes back to Florida in December 21st on exodus. It’ll be the first time since graduation that we’d be able to see each other every day.
I can’t begin to explain the rush of emotions going through my body. It’s happiness, sadness, and complete and utter worry. I’m happy I get to see my airman again, I’m happy that I’d be able to walk around holding his hand in public and being able to snuggle up under a blanket in PJs and falling asleep next to each other. I’m sad that I’d have to go back to the airport to watch him leave again, and not being able to see him for months after that point. I’m worried that somehow his plane will get delayed or even canceled and I’d never be able to see him.
I miss being able to touch his face with my hand and stare into his eyes before he kisses me. I miss being able to stay up on the phone until 1am because we miss each other so much even though we lived 10 minutes away from each other. Long distance.. my goodness would be so much harder than I thought. But to the people who always say that it doesn’t work, you’re wrong. It’s so hard being in different places from the one person you love, but it isn’t impossible. There’s days where you just want to sit there and cry and wish that they were there next to you to comfort you- and they’re a thousand miles away. There’s days where you’re so excited to see them again, and being able to sit at McDonald’s eating a burger and laughing your booties off. Long distance just makes you cherish the time you actually had together, or getting hyped up about the next time you see each other again. I’ve literally been counting down the days until I see this blonde again, next time you see us we’ll be posting our Christmas photos together 💛
Let me tell you something, you don’t have to try to be perfect. You don’t have to try to hide your “flaws”. You don’t need to strive for the world to like you. You don’t need to be less than 100 pounds for a man to love you. You don’t need to dress like you have no clothes on just to get a guys attention. You don’t need to have long blonde hair in order to be trendy and cute. You don’t need to have clear skin, acne is a normal thing. You don’t need to spend so much money buying clothes just to show off to other people, Walmart actually has amazing clothes. You don’t need to try to prove your worth to people.
This world isn’t going to last forever. The things that you own, will someday disappear. When you’re taking your last breath, who do you want people to remember you as? The one person who was so trendy and loved by everyone on the internet, but didn’t know one single person in real life? Or someone who had a kind heart and wanted people to know how wonderful and amazing they are. This world is full of such toxic things. We waste our lives constantly chasing perfection, when perfection cannot even be achieved. When you used to dance around your room to the song “nobody’s perfect” by Hannah Montana, did you actually listen to it? “Nobody's perfect!
I gotta work it! Again and again till I get it right! Nobody's perfect! Ya live and ya learn it! And if I'm messing up sometimes, Nobody's perfect! I gotta work it! 'Cause everybody makes mistakes! Nobody's perfect.” We used to dance around to this song in our pjs, but today we constantly drive to be perfect.
I used to scroll through Instagram and would be so jealous of the girls who are like 100 pounds and 5’8 with the perfect outfits and perfect hair. When you look through Instagram, or YouTube, or Pinterest- those are photos. Those are taken within a literal millisecond of someone’s life. A Instagram photo that looks like it may be “perfect” isn’t actually someone’s actual life. Social media is a perfect highlight reel of someone’s life. You don’t see how long it took for someone to get their hair dyed the perfect shade of honey blonde, nor the cost of it. You don’t see someone getting their car towed away because they didn’t pay their bills for the last three months, but you see how perfect their margarita looks like on a Friday night. You see photos of someone going to church and having an amazing time, but you don’t see photos of them and their spouse fighting when they get home.
Instead of trying to make our lives a perfect highlight reel on social media, why don’t we try live our lives as much as we can. Because let me tell you- Instagram isn’t going to be there in heaven, I’m sorry to tell you.
Be you! Be true! You don’t need to sit there and want to be someone else, when you are the perfect version of yourself! You are literally PERFECT! God made you who he wants you to be! The red hair you were born with is beautiful! The freckles you were born with are marvelous! The way one of your toes are longer than the other is amazing!
Instead of trying to change our physical appearance to try to achieve a perfect highlight reel, why don’t we try to change who we are on the inside? Why don’t we just go and tell people how amazing they are and that they don’t need to post hoochie photos on social media just to get followers or some dudes DMs.
You- sitting there right now, you are the perfect example of someone who can change the world, but will you accept the offer?
Stay sassy darlings, xoxo.
I'm a huge fan of chicken nuggets, and enthusiastically excited about what God as in store for my life. My other half is currently in the Air Force, so a lot of blog posts will be about the military as of right now.
Incase no one told you today:
YOU ARE AMAZING
YOU ARE LOVED
YOU ARE ONE OF A KIND
YOU ARE SPECIAL
YOU ARE MAGNIFICENT
YOU ARE WANTED
YOU ARE A MASTERPIECE
YOU ARE WONDERFUL
YOU ARE JOYFUL
YOU ARE TALENTED
YOU ARE GREAT
YOU ARE FANTASTIC
YOU ARE A QUEEN
YOU ARE LOVED BY SOMEONE WHO MADE YOU
YOU ARE KIND
YOU ARE YOU, don't let anyone change that.