Looking through YouTube videos and just seeing the amazing life that people are living, while traveling and starting a family is something I always wanted. I have always wanted to get married and have like a thousand kids running around the house. In 2017 I fell in love with this boy in my study hall period. He was a complete dork, to this day he still is, but he just caught my eye the moment he walked in. Later that fall we started dating and now in 2019 seeing how our relationship has progressed is amazing, and heartbreaking too.
Jeremy is in the Air Force, if you couldn’t tell from my previous posts hahah. He’s currently stationed overseas, by this I mean over 7 thousand miles away from where I am, and more than a 12 hour time difference. This has definitely taking a toll on our relationship given that this tour is over a year long. I totally regretted not getting married to him straight out of BMT, but at the same time we both weren’t ready for marriage at that time in our lives. It’s hard not being able to see the one everyday.
I was recently at the beach looking the sunrise on a family road trip. I saw this couple with blankets piled on their shoulders. The boy carried the girl onto the beach on his back and my mind just immediately went straight to remembering the time where Jeremy wouldn’t put me down as we walked around an art museum. Every time I step into a place where we once stood my heart breaks. But at the same time I can remember all the amazing memories we had and even being able to create more for the rest of our lives.
The amount of times I’ve said long distance is hard I totally meant it. The amount of times I said long distance is worth it.. ha wait when did I say that? Long distance is so worth the wait. It’s worth being able to jump into their arms when they come home and feeling their warmth against you when you wake up in the morning. The little things that you’ve always missed will come straight back to you, and that makes it all worth it.
Don’t even get me started on how deployment will probably feel like, because I’ll probably be hiding under my bed crying the whole time. Even though his tour is no where near done, I’ve learned how it feels to just live on your own. Not have to rely on someone else to talk to or need. I always look forward to FaceTime calls at 4am and Jeremy telling me how exciting work was and what he did that day. It’s making us become our own people living away from each other, and it’s good to have that space. I feel like preparing for marriage is terrifying at the same time it’s breathtaking. You’re going to be spending the rest of your life with this human being and there’s no backing out. I don’t think that I’ll ever be ready to say “I’m excited and prepared to be a ‘military wife’” because there’s so much to learn and experience throughout this relationship. But I’m definitely ready to spend the rest of my life with this man.
I'm a huge fan of chicken nuggets, and enthusiastically excited about what God as in store for my life. My other half is currently in the Air Force, so a lot of blog posts will be about the military as of right now.
Incase no one told you today:
YOU ARE AMAZING
YOU ARE LOVED
YOU ARE ONE OF A KIND
YOU ARE SPECIAL
YOU ARE MAGNIFICENT
YOU ARE WANTED
YOU ARE A MASTERPIECE
YOU ARE WONDERFUL
YOU ARE JOYFUL
YOU ARE TALENTED
YOU ARE GREAT
YOU ARE FANTASTIC
YOU ARE A QUEEN
YOU ARE LOVED BY SOMEONE WHO MADE YOU
YOU ARE KIND
YOU ARE YOU, don't let anyone change that.