I like to think of myself as a pretty independent person, until it comes to how I act when I'm around my S.O. I couldn't ever be happier in a relationship. I finally found a man who treats me like I'm a literal princess, and also makes me sandwiches (which is why I keep him). When I'm with him I feel like I'm on top of the world. It's nice to have someone do things for you even when you don't ask them, like when you can't reach things on the top shelf. Two years into the relationship and I am honestly so excited to get to marry this young man. Not only is he my best friend, but he's my personal chef too.
Whenever he used to talk about the military or joining it I thought it was no big deal, until it became a reality. I thought that it was just a joke, something that you'd think about for your future but you'd just rather get a 9-5 job and spend the rest of the day cuddling on the couch. When Jeremy left for BMT (Basic Military Training) my heart sunk. It honestly felt like it was the end of the world at that point. Getting through that made me feel like I could take on the whole entire world that deployment & tours looked so easy.
Knowing now that whenever I get the chance to see him again, no one can ever compare. No one is him. I can find new friends and I can go dating around too. But no one in this whole entire planet can fill his shoes. Literally not one single person. Our relationship isn't the easiest, it's honestly such a huge amount of work somedays (mostly when I miss him and just want to stay and bed and watch movies together, and he tells me no). But I wouldn't ever trade this man for the world. I would literally do anything to be able to see him again, but I know that when I do it's going to be the best thing on this whole entire planet.
I can’t sit here and say long distance is the best type of relationship. I can’t sit here and say there’s not days where I just want to give up. Every single day I just wonder if I’ll be able to talk to him and be able to talk about how my day was or ask how was his classes were. We met freshman year in highschool, we’ve been dating since senior year. Every single day we’d talk on FaceTime and we’d see each other the next day. Now it’s gone to me falling asleep on FaceTime because I’m so tired from work, to waking up wondering if I’d be able to text him that morning.
I’ve never felt such a pain in my heart, I’ve never felt so depressed in such a long time. There’s always thoughts in the back of my head saying that he never wants to be with me or that he’s going to somehow end up with someone else.
When we met I knew Jeremy was in JROTC but I never really knew his full story. Senior year when we started dating he told me he wanted to join the military and I thought nothing of it, until the day came when told me he was leaving September 11th. It’s now November 30th, and he comes back to Florida in December 21st on exodus. It’ll be the first time since graduation that we’d be able to see each other every day.
I can’t begin to explain the rush of emotions going through my body. It’s happiness, sadness, and complete and utter worry. I’m happy I get to see my airman again, I’m happy that I’d be able to walk around holding his hand in public and being able to snuggle up under a blanket in PJs and falling asleep next to each other. I’m sad that I’d have to go back to the airport to watch him leave again, and not being able to see him for months after that point. I’m worried that somehow his plane will get delayed or even canceled and I’d never be able to see him.
I miss being able to touch his face with my hand and stare into his eyes before he kisses me. I miss being able to stay up on the phone until 1am because we miss each other so much even though we lived 10 minutes away from each other. Long distance.. my goodness would be so much harder than I thought. But to the people who always say that it doesn’t work, you’re wrong. It’s so hard being in different places from the one person you love, but it isn’t impossible. There’s days where you just want to sit there and cry and wish that they were there next to you to comfort you- and they’re a thousand miles away. There’s days where you’re so excited to see them again, and being able to sit at McDonald’s eating a burger and laughing your booties off. Long distance just makes you cherish the time you actually had together, or getting hyped up about the next time you see each other again. I’ve literally been counting down the days until I see this blonde again, next time you see us we’ll be posting our Christmas photos together 💛
I'm a huge fan of chicken nuggets, and enthusiastically excited about what God as in store for my life. My other half is currently in the Air Force, so a lot of blog posts will be about the military as of right now.
Incase no one told you today:
YOU ARE AMAZING
YOU ARE LOVED
YOU ARE ONE OF A KIND
YOU ARE SPECIAL
YOU ARE MAGNIFICENT
YOU ARE WANTED
YOU ARE A MASTERPIECE
YOU ARE WONDERFUL
YOU ARE JOYFUL
YOU ARE TALENTED
YOU ARE GREAT
YOU ARE FANTASTIC
YOU ARE A QUEEN
YOU ARE LOVED BY SOMEONE WHO MADE YOU
YOU ARE KIND
YOU ARE YOU, don't let anyone change that.