I know that everyone has felt left out at some point, that everyone has not felt wanted. I've dealt with that daily, I've fought that fight. I'm that awkward girl who sits alone at lunch, I'm consistently on my phone scrolling through Pinterest, that girl who doesn't talk to many people but you think that she's totally weird and doesn't have many friends. Yep that girl is me. The one who likes to dresses in oversized cardigans, and wears like 10/10 aesthetically pleasing glasses. I like photography, art, anime, I also like to write.
I don't fit in with the cool crowd, like at all, like I'm totally and utterly an outcast. I was afraid of going to sit with the cool kids at lunch, it feels like they won't want me. The whole time I brought myself out of my comfort zone just trying to be like them. I wanted to be that cool girl who: has a hot boyfriend, who likes to wear ripped jeans, and small crop tops (Which are not even comfortable to me, like dude total props to whoever wears them). But that wasn't me, that wasn't the girl I knew I was.
I was so afraid that others wouldn't like me or others wouldn't want to be near me, so I changed myself when I was around people. I spent years trying to act like some girl who I knew I wasn't, just so I could fit in with the in crowd. But why do we do that? Why do we sit there and act like people that we know that we aren't? I was so out of my comfort zone I was literally miserable. I was literally killing myself trying to act like some girl that I knew that I didn't want to be.
God made us, us.
We all know that we were made to be the people God wants us to be. If you don't know that, well let me tell you fam. God made us before we were even thought of, before out parents even were thinking about us. God knew who we were going to be! Isn't that amazing? Isn't it so cool to know that there's this amazing and totally snazzy guy in the sky telling us that we were made to be us. He created every single hair on our heads, and He made us to be who He wants us to be. He created us to be us. He didn't create us to be a copy of someone else or act, dress, look like someone else.
Why do we step out of comfort zones? We want to grow, right? We want to stretch our physical, mental, and even spiritual limits. Sometimes we're even forced to leave our comfort zones, and we just push ourselves back into it. Imagine a rubber band, then imagine stretching it. Once you've stretched it to it's limit it can break, but if you let it go it'll go back to the same rubber band shape that it originally was made to be. Our comfort zone is that rubber band. We can stretch it to the limit and totally break it, we'll be out of that comfort zone forever. But there's another part of us, where we like to stretch it just a tad bit, and right when we're done we let the rubber band go and we're right back inside of our comfort zone. I like to believe that comfort zones are a good thing, but sometimes they're not. Sometimes they hold us back from being who God really wants us to be.
What I think that's so cool is that God went out of His comfort zone so that we don't have to be in ours. You totally and utterly may be confused right now wait I'll explain I promise. So I'm pretty sure you've heard who Jesus us, God's son- the really cool guy with long hair and wears a huge white long tablecloth looking dress that people usually dress up as for halloween, the guy you see in memes a lot. Yeah his name is Jesus. He's not only a meme but he's a real person. God sent his ONLY son, Okay let's imagine you living in the sky and you have to send your son/daughter down to Earth, that's what God had to do. He had to give up His only son, but it was completely his choice! I'm pretty sure God didn't want His own son to be put to death! But he was! Jesus died, and I mean DIED, so that we can have eternal life with God, which is INSANE to think about, right?!? God completely stepped out of His comfort zone so that we can be with God forever! Honestly that's completely and amazing for him to do.. and He didn't even need to do it! He loves us so much that He did it! He left His comfort zone so that we could live the lives that we do today!
So what does comfort zones have to do with being awkward?
Geez I was getting there, no need to be pushy. Like I've mentioned before, God made us to be us. We shouldn't have to change who we are, or how we dress just to please other people. We all are comfortable in our comfort zones, correct? So why can't we find comfort in who God created us to be? Why do we want to stretch our rubber bands so far, to the point they break, trying to be someone else? Why can't we find comfort in our awkwardness? Why can't we just realize that God created us to be "awkward"? My challenge for anyone who is afraid to be themselves, or wants to look like the cool kids so you try to hard and you know that it's killing you on the inside and you just don't want to admit it. Find comfort in the fact that God made you to be you, let God take that weight off your shoulder that you've been carrying for so long.
Dear Lord, I've been struggling with being myself. I've been wanting to sit at the cool kids table for so long, but in reality you're the cool kid. You're the person who I want to sit with at lunch, and you accept everyone. You accept the: rejects, popular kids, "sluts", even the awkward quiet people. You accept everyone at your lunch table dear Lord. Help me to realize that you made me to be me. You made me to help and love on other people dear Lord. I need you at this moment. I need you every single second of every day. Help me find comfort in the awkwardness dear Lord. Thank you for stepping out of your comfort zone so I could step out of mine. Give me the strength to tell the devil not today, I will be myself even when I feel like an outsider. You God made me, me. You made me to spread your word dear Lord. You made me in your image. In Jesus' name, Amen!
I'm a huge fan of chicken nuggets, and enthusiastically excited about what God as in store for my life. My other half is currently in the Air Force, so a lot of blog posts will be about the military as of right now.
Incase no one told you today:
YOU ARE AMAZING
YOU ARE LOVED
YOU ARE ONE OF A KIND
YOU ARE SPECIAL
YOU ARE MAGNIFICENT
YOU ARE WANTED
YOU ARE A MASTERPIECE
YOU ARE WONDERFUL
YOU ARE JOYFUL
YOU ARE TALENTED
YOU ARE GREAT
YOU ARE FANTASTIC
YOU ARE A QUEEN
YOU ARE LOVED BY SOMEONE WHO MADE YOU
YOU ARE KIND
YOU ARE YOU, don't let anyone change that.